I once had a sign on my office wall that read: "This life is only a
test. If it had been an actual life, you would have been given further
instructions on where to go and what to do."
Couldn't we all use a little more guidance on our destinies? Many people
decide their life's work when they're barely out of their teens, then spend
40 hours a week for the next 40 years doing jobs that leave them apathetic,
bitter, depleted. Somewhere there may be work that would make time fly
instead of crawl, but how many people have the courage, patience or money
to seek their true calling, if, in fact, they have one?
Po Bronson found 55 such people, and in "What Should I Do With My Life?" (Random House, 370 pages,
$24.95) he chronicles their answers to the ultimate questions: Am I happy?
And if not, what am I going to do about it? Mr. Bronson himself walked away
from a job as a bond salesman at First Boston to scratch his itch for
writing. Marcela sold modems but wanted to do massages. Don was an
investment banker but wanted to farm catfish. Kurt was a Ph.D. candidate in
poetry who longed to be a chef. John, a divorce mediator, became a
minister.
Obstacles to Happiness
"We live in a rich country," Mr. Bronson writes. "So rich that we're
blessed with the ultimate privilege: to be true to our individual nature.
Our economy is so vast that we don't have to grind it out forever at jobs
we hate. For the most part we get to choose."
I doubt that many of the eight million Americans who are unemployed
would agree. Nor, I'm guessing, would young adults without college degrees,
recent immigrants or men and women over the age of 55. Yet Mr. Bronson is
right that no society in human history has offered its citizens as wide a
variety of occupations as 21st-century America does. In 1850, the first
U.S. Census listed 322 job titles; in 2000, there were 31,000.
Some of Mr. Bronson's case histories are heartening -- people giving up
lucrative corporate jobs to enter public service or become entrepreneurs.
Not all his subjects are affluent, white and well-educated, and not all
their stories have happy endings. In Mr. Bronson's opinion, however, even
failure beats inertia.
"If you're not happy, you shouldn't stay put, you should find where you
belong," he exhorts Mike, who was taking a self-described Zen Buddhist
approach to his imperfect fate. "Purpose and fulfillment were right there
for [Mike]," Mr. Bronson declares, "if he got off his Gandhi kick."
Gandhi was actually a Hindu, and statements like that make "What Should
I Do With My Life?" seem shallow and Western, in the worst sense of the
word. Obligations? Tolerance? Compromise? Sacrifice? These are just
obstacles to happiness in Mr. Bronson's self-centered universe, their
entreaties no more compelling than the barking of "a pack of junkyard
dogs."
"John decided he could compromise no longer," Mr. Bronson writes about a
man who quits his job and moves to a new city to start an electric-car
company. To pursue this dream, "he pulled his kids out of school, let go of
their nanny, who'd been with them since their older boy was born. His wife
said goodbye to her friends."
Then, to top it off, John blows his capital fixing up his new house and
is forced to take the same kind of job he had left behind. After all that
John had overcome, including "a family hesitant to change with him," Mr.
Bronson says that he was "hurt to learn" that John had failed. I bet the
wife, kids and nanny hurt a lot worse.
Find the Sweet Spot
Mr. Bronson acknowledges that he became emotionally involved with many
of his subjects, but he seems to think that's a good thing rather than the
liability it turns out to be. When his subjects ask his advice, he usually
gives it; even if they don't ask, he gives it. As their adviser, not to
mention a journalist researching a book about life changes, he has a stake
in the outcome of these stories. "There was no doubt I had a slant," he
says. "Why was I bent on encouraging people to change their lives?" One
possible explanation is that if they didn't, he wouldn't have a book. But
whatever the reason, the result is an unreliable depiction of how and why
people change careers, the difficulties understated, the rewards
exaggerated.
Large sections of the book are simply records of conversations between
Mr. Bronson and his subjects, with him getting most of the best lines.
People are constantly smacking their heads (metaphorically) and saying
things like, "Wow, I never thought of that" or "Damn, when you say it like
that it seems so easy and so obvious." Patronizing and self-congratulatory,
Mr. Bronson is a good example of a new publishing paradigm that's gotten
out of control: authors telling not just a story but the story of how they
got the story.
Worse, Mr. Bronson practices psychological counseling without a license,
proffering the kinds of banalities that give self-help books a bad name:
"Carrying negative energy around is like carrying a 20-pound watermelon --
you can't give a good hug when you have a watermelon in your arms." "Being
uncomfortable is good. If you remain comfortable, you remain more or less
yourself." "One misconception is that our life doesn't begin until we find
an answer, when in fact our failed attempts often establish why we will
find our future 'answer' so meaningful, that is, in contrast to the past."
Huh?
To deflect the possible criticism that "What Should I Do With My Life?"
is loosey-goosey advice for slackers, malcontents and dilettantes, Mr.
Bronson argues that when people love what they do, their productivity
explodes. I suspect he's correct, and the world would be a better place if
everyone could find what Mr. Bronson calls the "sweet spot." But someone
has to collect the garbage, dig the ditches and clean the bathrooms,
regardless of how unrewarding these jobs are. And most of us must simply
persevere in the many unglamorous, middle-level jobs -- neither exalted nor
mundane -- that help us to pay our way through life. Mr. Bronson has no
time for such people; they have not "dared to be honest with themselves."
Oh, please.