Before his January 2002 layoff from UltimateTV, 54-year-old Bob Birss had it all: a good job as a software-test manager, the perks and prestige of working for a division of Microsoft, and most notably, the power to hire and fire.

Outside of work, the Redwood Shores, Calif., executive and his wife, Mary, enjoyed season tickets to the San Francisco Opera. But with no job, there are no more nights at the opera, and the former manager of 45 now spends most of his days looking for a manager who will hire him.

Mr. Birss, the sole breadwinner for the family, says he was numb, angry and fearful following the layoff. "I was -- and still am -- especially angry at my boss, who I feel had repeatedly lied to me. My initial concerns weren't much different from my current concerns -- surviving financially in Silicon Valley being primary. It's only gotten worse," he says, "and I've only gotten older."

It's common for downsized professionals to feel shock, anger, fear, disbelief, uncertainty and hopelessness about their situations, says Tahira K. Hira, a personal-finance professor at Iowa State University in Ames. This is especially true when unemployment lasts longer than anticipated. Yet by mobilizing your support and making adjustments, you can reduce your stress. You may find that you can survive the loss financially and emotionally and emerge stronger on the other side.

Start by having an honest discussion with your family. "Often people think it will be better if children didn't know about financial struggles, but children sense things aren't the same," Dr. Hira says. "They imagine things are worse than they really are. So talking about what's happening, what it means, how you plan to handle the situation and how other family members can help is necessary."

This was true for Julius Adams, a 51-year-old former director of product strategy and research for Encoda Systems Inc., a New York City-based provider of software tools to the broadcasting industry.

Even though Encoda had made two rounds of job cuts since August 2001, Mr. Adams felt certain his job would be spared. After all, he had been hired to help shape the company's future. His work was considered "exceptional." But in March 2002, less than a year after being hired, Mr. Adams was summoned to a vice president's office. He was given two weeks' severance plus a few days' vacation pay.

"I was basically stunned," Mr. Adams says. "I felt angry, betrayed and highly nervous based on what I was hearing about the economy and the prospects for finding employment."

It didn't help that Mr. Adams also was a sole breadwinner for his wife and two sons, ages 14 and eight. Although it was difficult for him, he decided to enlist their support.

"At first, there was fear, anger and real adjustments to be made," Mr. Adams says. These ranged from cutting back on electricity use to enrolling the kids in a free school-lunch program.

"As time went on, we had many family conversations about the reality of the situation and the many scenarios we needed to consider," he says. "Honestly, many [conversations] were heated and filled with anger, but that tempered as we started to make decisions on two or three courses to pursue."

While still in decision-making mode, Mr. Adams and his family applied for Child Health Plus and Family Health Plus, state programs that provided free medical, dental and vision care, as well as free prescriptions. Getting approval for both programs took less than three months. "I felt guilty doing this after all these years, but we needed to do it," he says.

Looking back, Mr. Adams recommends sharing money concerns with family members. Even more crucial, though, may be talking with creditors. Dr. Hira recommends taking this step before you fall behind. Explain your employment situation and ask for a reduction in interest rates and/or payments. Keep written records of all your conversations and any new agreements.

"Once again, communication with lenders is crucial," Dr. Hira says. "If you can't do all this yourself, seek help from a credit counselor -- a legitimate, reliable business with a good history of helping people in a similar situation."

Ideally, you'll have prepared for a setback before a job loss -- yet even this may not be enough. Both Messrs. Birss and Adams had set aside funds while working. Mr. Birss expects his savings to last until March 2003 -- not bad, considering his job ended in January 2002. But even after the money runs dry, he'll still have to pay the mortgage and college expenses for his only daughter, a 20-year-old junior at the University of Michigan.

"The whole thing has been hard emotionally for both of us -- perhaps more so for [my wife] Mary than me," Mr. Birss says. "I joke that I haven't needed to get depressed -- Mary's been depressed enough for both of us."

Mr. Adams agrees that having a sizable nest egg doesn't eliminate money stress. "The fears increased as we watched a $24,000 savings account dwindle to $5,000 or less over time, even with unemployment," he says. "I decided then that some of that money was going to be needed to 'reinvent' myself soon, or I would have to dig into our investments, which already had come down about 30%."

In fact, your most important investment is yourself. Accordingly, Mr. Birss devotes three to four hours per day on his job hunt: distributing résumés, researching opportunities in other cities and participating in ProMatch, a state-sponsored program providing career resources for professionals in his area. He also has enrolled full-time at the University of California Extension, Santa Cruz, where he's earning a certificate in clinical trials management. He hopes the certification -- comprised of roughly 18 credit hours -- will prepare him to use his computer programming and management skills in the biotech industry.

Mr. Adams also returned to the classroom -- to fulfill his dream of becoming a teacher. In July 2002, after reading an article in the New York Times about the city's shortage of public-school teachers, Mr. Adams contacted a dean at the City College of New York (CCNY). It turns out he was only six credits shy of earning his education degree -- so he completed the necessary paperwork, enrolled in the required classes, networked within the educational system, passed two state exams, and was hired part-time as an elementary-school music teacher in October 2002. He will attain full-time status in February 2003.

Mrs. Adams recently secured a temporary office job to help cover the family's food and transportation costs. Though their combined pay is only about two-thirds of what Mr. Adams last earned, he loves his work for the first time in years.

"Feeling needed and of value to society far outweighs the fleeting monetary rewards of a very messed-up business world," he says.

If the business world is "messed up," it pays to have a sense of humor. Mr. Birss jokes that he's through looking for a gold, silver or bronze job, and at this point would accept an aluminum-foil job. He says, "I'll relocate to any state, as long as it doesn't begin with 'A.' " After pausing a moment, he adds, "Maybe Arizona."