If you have a car accident or breakdown, you don't pop an aspirin, put the car in the garage and try to fix it yourself, do you? OK, some people do, but most of us need people, resources and systems to help get back on the road. Rebounding from a job loss is no different. You need a support system for your career. You need other people and resources to help you regain your edge.

The job seekers who are the most successful at rebounding from unemployment are those with robust social- and professional-support networks and strong faith in themselves.

As your job hunt progresses, you'll need more than job leads and a shoulder to cry on. You'll need support in different ways and at different times. As you assemble your support system, consider adding people, groups and activities that can offer the following types of support:

• Professional and industry related
• Job-search and career strategy
• Intellectual
• Family
• Spiritual

You'll also want a person (or people) who can:

• Offer encouragement or act as a cheerleader.
• Be an objective evaluator and "tell it like it is."
• Identify with you because he or she is experiencing the same thing.
• Listen to you vent or complain -- preferably someone who is outside your family.

It's also helpful to have a place (or activity) to belong to. On the flip side, you'll need somewhere to call your own space -- a place or activity that you can use to escape from your job-search grind.

While your family, friends or acquaintances likely want to help you, in many cases they don't know how. Don't assume people know what you do for a living. Your friends and acquaintances may know many things about you, such as that you're allergic to shellfish and love Thai food, but they might not have a clue about your work, other than, "Uh, something in real estate, I think."

Help them understand what your profession really is. Otherwise, how can they give you a reference or provide a lead on a job?

No one comes out and says, "So, I understand that you're out of work. I'll bet that you'd like for me to give you my Rolodex, make some introductions at companies that might have an opening that fits your qualifications (whatever those are) and give you a reference for the job?"

Of course not. Friends and acquaintances are likely to say, "How can I help you?" You can't expect anyone, even your close friends, to read your mind or have an instant understanding of what you need. It isn't another person's responsibility to play 20-questions or to guess what you need. Nor do your contacts have the time to pull information from you or read between the lines because you're too embarrassed to ask for help.

Unless you specifically tell people what you need and how they can help you, they'll make their own assumptions. As a result, you may find that your friends aren't as effective supporters as they could be, and you may become angry or resentful. ("Why wouldn't Anthony help me?" or "Suzy couldn't really do anything.")

When you seek support from others, keep in mind that you need to be direct in explaining your job loss, current search and what you need. Don't be afraid to ask for it. The sooner you can communicate these things, the sooner you will start to see a positive reaction from those who can help you.

When job seekers call my office, I'll ask them "What are you looking to do?" Three minutes later, the oxygen has stopped reaching my brain because the caller is still going on and on about an enormous data-conversion project he or she once led and.... Know that people don't find all of the details nearly as relevant or interesting as you think they do. Have a point and get to it quickly. If they want more detail or need follow up, they will ask. Also, speak in clear terms that someone who isn't familiar with your field can understand. Stay away from acronyms or buzzwords, and don't assume that someone knows what you are talking about.

Your Internal Support System

Your family, friends or even a group can offer support and advice, but ultimately, no one else can save you. You have to save yourself. When times are tough and your external support system isn't able to give you what you need, your only choice is to look inside and rely on your own abilities and faith to get you through to the next step.

After hours of surfing the Web or making phone calls, you not only need a break, but a change of scenery. The pressure, rejection and boredom can get to be too much.

Find a place or an activity to retreat to clear your mind, if only for a few moments. This sanctuary can be a route that you run or walk in the neighborhood or a drive through the country. When I was unemployed, several times I drove from Dallas to the Oklahoma border 90 miles away, just to think in a different environment. It can be a destination like a restaurant, library, park, gym or even a Starbucks. Quiet is good, but it doesn't have to be.

Finding a solution to a problem or choosing your next move is difficult when you're being bombarded by others asking, "How is the search going?" Seek out or create an environment where you can be alone with your thoughts. For example, listen to soothing music without lyrics. I'm not saying that you should start chanting and drinking herbal tea, but find a way to leave behind distractions, so you can think about where you are and where you want to go. How you escape doesn't matter as much as the fact that you do escape. It's easier to think differently in a different environment.

One of the most difficult aspects of recovering from a career setback is the loss of routine that a full-time job usually provides. Your patterns, habits and rules have changed. It's easy to feel lost without a place to go, people to see or a schedule to follow. Here are four things you can do to try to replicate the structure you had while working.

1. Follow a schedule. Just as you got up for work every day and had a place to go and things to do, create a schedule for your job search. This can be as simple as rising, placing phone calls or surfing the Web at a consistent time. Include weekly activities, such as designating Tuesday and Thursday as your day to have lunch with networking contacts.

2. Talk to people face to face daily. Arrange to meet with people every day. You don't have to schedule meetings or interviews, but you should make it a point to get out of the house and have human contact at least once each day. A job search can be isolating enough. Don't make it worse.

3. Give yourself little rewards. You may have established carrots or incentives at work to help you get through boring or tedious tasks. ("If I get my expense report finished, I'll leave early today.") Do the same with your search. Celebrate certain milestones or achievements. ("If I send my thank-you notes by noon, I'll go to Starbucks or take a bike ride.")

4. Plan an activity to look forward to each day. Include at least one positive thing in your day that you look forward to. It can be a task or activity, or a conversation with one of your contacts.