Unfortunately for introverted people, its getting more and more difficult to
succeed professionally without developing a broad range of connections to other people.
There simply is no such thing as a job or career field in which you can be rewarded
entirely for what you know and how well you do your work. You not only have to do your job
well but also make sure that others know youre doing your job well.
This is especially true if youre self-employed. Word-of-mouth publicity is widely
regarded as one of the keys to running just about any type of small business or consulting
practice. Remember, its not just what you know that counts, its who knows that
you know what you know.
Visibility is key. This can be trying for introverts who would rather focus on their
work than on their relationships at work. And it can be downright painful for shy types
who cringe at the thought of self-promotion.
Theres good news and bad news for introverted or shy professionals. The bad news
is that networking as a means of career survival is here to stay. The good news is that
networking is definitely a skill that can be learned.
The following tips will make the process less painful.
1. Take baby steps.
Dont try to become a master networker overnight. A common mistake introverts make
is to wake up one day and announce, "Today, Im going to become an active
networker!" That proclamation is, unfortunately, about as likely to succeed as
announcing that youre going to lose weight or quit smoking once and for all.
2. Dont assume youre being a pest.
Introverts tend to assume theyll be bothering the people they contact. They may
be projecting their own feelings onto others. Introverts often prefer to be left alone--to
do their work without interruptions or having their "own little world" invaded.
Before you assume youre going to be a pest if you try to make contact with someone,
think twice. Most people will be glad to hear from you.
3. Rely on your supporters.
People you know well and who are accessible can provide emotional support when the
going gets tough, encouragement on the way up and a kick in the pants when youre
slacking off. Networking invariably brings challenges that result in less than positive
feelings. Supporters can offer encouragement and empathy along the way.
4. Get the competitive juices flowing.
Try to remember lots of people, who arent half as capable, qualified, talented
and nice as you are advancing simply because they connect with others and make themselves
visible. Even people who arent competitive by nature usually can muster some
competitive drive when they see how unfair it is that less-qualified colleagues are
getting ahead.
5. Rest on your laurels.
Remember the times youve been successful in group endeavors or one-on-one
interactions with others. These recollections will give you courage to face the next
networking situation.
6. Be a leader.
An advantage of any type of leadership position is it gives you a built-in excuse for
connecting with people. Introverts dont always seek leadership roles because these
positions inevitably require such dreaded tasks as committee meetings and team projects.
More behind-the-scenes leadership roles such as being a newsletter editor or secretary for
a professional organization can play to your strengths without forcing you to be too
outgoing or political.
7. Enlist a spokesperson.
If youre hesitant to contact someone you dont know, consider having another
person act as a go-between for you. If someone in your network has given you the name of a
colleague, ask your contact to call the person first for you to "warn them" that
youll be calling. Most people are willing to do this.
8. Dont underestimate the power of listening.
Those who dont have the gift of gab shouldnt despair. Listening is just as
important as talking when it comes to establishing good relationships with others.
Theres nothing extroverts like better than having someone listen to them talk.
9. Dont sweat the small talk.
Small talk is just what it sounds like: small. A sense of humor or some profound
insight is nice, but theres nothing wrong with a mundane comment to break the ice
like, "Large turnout, isnt it?" or "This is great dip." Asking a
question is often a great way to initiate a conversation.
10. Like birds of a feather, flock together.
If you find group interaction difficult, look for other people who seem uncomfortable
and approach them. Its easier to start with other introverts than with the
intimidating woman in red whos surrounded by a phalanx of fans in the center of the
room. But dont get stuck with the introverts. At some point you have to leave the
nest.
11. Make the most of what you know.
What you know is just as important as who you know when it comes to networking. Unlike
extroverts, introverts are likely to be the ones who take the time to read the industry
newsletters cover-to-cover. Let people know you as the person they can call for the latest
information on whatevers relevant to your field. Take the initiative to pick up the
phone and share your findings with others.
12. Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse.
Its likely youll find yourself having the same sort of conversations
repeatedly. If you tend to get tongue-tied when meeting someone new, try practicing what
youre going to say. If you freeze up or babble incoherently when leaving messages,
get in the habit of taking time before picking up the phone to plan what youll say
if the person doesnt answer.
13. Dont keep it to yourself.
Introverts worry theyll bother people, so they tend to reach out to others only
when theyre really worried or excited about something. Instead, try to get in the
habit of connecting with people over small things--not just the big ones. Doing so enables
you to develop ongoing relationships and ensures that contacts are there for you when you
need to share the big stuff.
14. Attend events that have a purpose.
If youre uncomfortable or nervous at events that are solely networking
opportunities, try to attend gatherings that have a purpose, such as educational or
cultural seminars. Interactive classes and workshops are good bets because they have a
built-in agenda that involves structured networking.
15. Write often.
If you cant get yourself to pick up the phone and make a cold call, or even a
cool call, then consider writing. A letter of introduction can make the follow-up phone
call less nerve-racking.
16. Get out among them.
Do you tend to hole up in your office or other workplace? Just getting out of the house
or office to be among people helps. Although walking isnt direct networking, it
propels you out of your own little world and brings about a powerful mindset change that
can lead you into networking.
17. Be positive.
Before you declare that its not going to be worth your time to talk to Joe Shmoe
or to attend a particular event, stop and think. Do you have rational proof that your
prospects are dim or are you just afraid? Almost all encounters are worthwhile, if for no
other reason than for the practice.
18. Consider seeking professional help.
If you think your shyness or introversion is more than just a mild nuisance, you might
need to consult a psychologist, therapist or other mental health counselor. Shyness that
seriously hinders social interactions can keep you from doing what you need to do, and you
may benefit from professional treatment.
19. Be comfortable in your own skin.
Sometimes reluctance to network results from insecurity about your appearance. While
physical attractiveness is by no means a prerequisite for being a successful networker,
the "package" you present to others is important. If something about your
outward image is undermining your confidence, consider fixing whats fixable and
learn to make the most of whats not.
20. Just do it.
You never know where a job, lead or some good advice is going to turn up. Sure,
networking can be difficult, anxiety-provoking and a pain in the neck, but at some point
you have to abandon all the excuses, take a deep breath and just do it.
-- Ms. Tullier is a career
counselor based in New York, a member of the faculty of New York University and author of
"Networking for Everyone!" (1998,
JIST Works Inc.), from which this article is excerpted.