School is out. Not for summer, but for the rest of your life.

That's what recent college graduates are discovering as we make our way into a world that's far from home, parents and friends, in different states or on distant shores. Ultimately, for a successful work life and a satisfying personal life most of us will need to develop new social networks in what will -- at first -- prove to be unfamiliar and uncomfortable situations.

It's not always easy to do. For people who, until now, had our networks created for us, from the classroom to the dorm room, entering the wide world beyond school cliques can feel like being dropped into a shark tank, or an abyss.

"People our age are at a disadvantage," says Annabel Mangold, 26 years old, a San Francisco Bay area native who has been living in Anchorage, Alaska, for the last year. "We're like toddlers, trying to figure out who we want around us."

It isn't just moving to a strange place that can produce feelings of loneliness or social angst. It can also be tough returning home.

"It's like going to another city than the one you left. You're starting over," says Brian Kirkvold, a 28-year-old business development associate in Minneapolis.

After he graduated from Kenyon College, he returned to his hometown. "I had no college friends around, my old friends had gone away or were still in college somewhere, and I had no high school friends ... It was really frustrating," he says.

Mr. Kirkvold says he first immersed himself in his job, working 60 to 70 hours a week for a couple of years at the expense of making friends. Craving a social life, he scaled back to 50 hours a week and "slowly, but surely, started to meet a couple of people here and there."

Over time, the socializing came easier to him.

"It was much more fun to get out and enjoy life, rather than spending every day doing exactly the same thing," he says.

These days, Mr. Kirkvold meets new people training for marathons and triathlons, waterskiing, and in his part-time MBA classes at the University of Minnesota. "My circle of friends is not just made up of people my age," he says, "and they have so many different perspectives."

Mr. Kirkvold believes it's important to constantly expand your circle of friends and colleagues and pursue interests outside of work. "If work becomes the primary focal point, what happens when the job doesn't work out? You could find yourself in a precarious position of no job, no contacts, and no prospects."

Christine McKay, a senior career adviser at Harvard Business School, suggests the best way to start out in a new place or a new field is to tell everyone you know what you're about to embark on. "Most of us have a connection somewhere, within a geography or within an industry. Let everyone know what you will be doing -- professors, friends, parents' friends, family -- and ask them for help. People love to help other people be successful." 

The next step is to reach out to people you don't know. That means getting involved in industry organizations, joining alumni groups or participating in organized activities like you'd find at a knitting or rowing club -- things you do to get some face-to-face contact going. The new people you meet might become friends, mentors or heroes. "Self-motivation is hard, and we tend to require external influences to motivate us," says Ms. McKay, 40. "That strong external motivation is what separates really successful people from others."  

Carolyn See, the author of four best-selling books, compares life to dating. "Life is a matter of courtship and wooing, flirting and chatting," she says. 

Ms. See taught English for 21 years at UCLA, where her students often asked her how to become a successful writer and meet other writers. She ended up writing a book on the subject, called "Making a Literary Life."

Once you've written your prose, she says the recipe for success includes penning one charming note or placing a phone call that makes your palms sweat to someone in the industry whose work or reputation you admire, five days a week for the rest of your life.

She warns against asking for anything in the notes or calls. Introduce yourself and politely salute the recipient for whatever great work he or she created or facilitated. She recommends an outside excursion once a week to a class, conference, or book signing, "where you buy a book from a live author," the goal being to build a web of contacts.

She also counsels keeping your expectations in check and using grace and manners your mother taught you.

The first time you meet anyone, it's pretty unrealistic to expect that he or she will connect you to a job or become your best friend. And as Ms. See says, people would rather deal with their friends than with strangers. But all friends were strangers at some point; it's just a matter of time, manners, and occasions to bring a relationship about. We all have some interests -- sculpture or drag-racing or private equity or tennis -- and enthusiasts usually converge somewhere on a routine basis. Many people also meet through their religion.

Abram Goldman-Armstrong, 28, of Portland, Oregon, met most of his friends, and found his career, through his interest in brewing beer.

He worked full-time as a carpenter when he graduated but started writing free-lance articles about beer after founding a home brewing club. It was through the club that he met two of his closest friends. Now, he says he earns enough from his writing gigs to cut down his carpentry hours to part-time.

In an interview from Berlin, where he was watching World Cup soccer, Mr. Goldman-Armstrong said he's writing a book on organic beer and visiting breweries all over Germany. "Everywhere I go, my love of great beer has helped me meet great people," he says. "Craft brewers are passionate about what they do and make great hosts."  At beer festivals and breweries all over the Pacific Northwest, Mr. Goldman-Armstrong says he always runs into his friends.

These columns are made up of so many stories from readers who write in, and from friends and acquaintances and their friends and acquaintances. Keep in touch.