Editor's note: In this bi-monthly feature, CareerJournal.com presents before and after resumes of actual job hunters. The name of the candidate, his prior employers and contact information have been changed.

Clifford had been excited about becoming chief financial officer of a start-up pharmaceutical company. But the travel demands of his new job turned out to be excessive, and he became disillusioned about how the company was being run. In October 2004, just six months after joining the company, he realized it was time to trot out his resume and start hunting for a new opportunity.

But the resume he trotted out wasn't up to par. He wrote it himself, and it didn't sell him very well. Troubled by the lack of response he was receiving, he sought a free assessment of his document through an executive-networking group he had joined. The assignment went to Judy Friedler, founder of CareerPro International of Amherst, N.Y., and Toronto.

She found several problems. "He was targeting the executive market, but his resume wasn't fleshed out enough," says Ms. Friedler. "It didn't provide enough accomplishments or explain his scope of responsibilities for the companies he worked for. It was very plain vanilla."

The situation: Clifford recognized he needed a more impressive document. The 40-something manager hadn't searched on his own for work in years because he had been recruited to most of his past employers. In three cases, he was recruited to CFO roles at troubled pharmaceutical companies in need of turnarounds.

Now he wanted to find a new CFO job or use his document to present his credentials to potential partners or investors who might join him in buying a young drug company. Clifford retained Ms. Friedler to prepare a new resume because of her analysis of his original document. The two worked on several versions before producing the final copy, and Clifford paid $675 for two electronic documents -- a formatted version that could be printed out and a file for emailing -- plus a cover letter, Ms. Friedler says.

The challenge: The first problem with Clifford's original resume was his executive summary, which was short and generic, starting with the tired phrase "Proven leader with a track record of delivering results." The summary also didn't list key words describing his skills and expertise. These are important because they're often typed into search engines used to hunt for qualified candidates in computerized resume databanks.

Clifford had used business jargon to describe his accomplishments. For instance, to explain why he joined XYZ Corp., he wrote: "Recruited by the President as a strategic leader and change agent to accelerate a turnaround which saw sales grow 100% and operating profits increase 230%. This "biz-speak" makes it hard to decipher some of his accomplishments. He also failed to mention a lot of things he did, and didn't explain the scope of his jobs, such as how many people and managers he supervised and the size of his budgets.

His use of the same typeface throughout, varying between italics and normal type without much consistency, made the document hard to read. Further, Ms. Friedler adds, "his writing style wasn't dynamic."

The fix: Just about everything is new on Clifford's revised document. His contact information is easy to locate but the reader's eye immediately goes to the box at the top. This clearly displays the senior role he's seeking and his key area of expertise, namely, that he's a chief financial officer/senior finance executive in process-manufacturing environments.

The language of the new profile is powerful and focused. It defines his abilities and value to a new employer, plus describes the range of problems he's solved. Under "Areas of Expertise" is a long list -- 16 bulleted items -- of key words that might be used to hunt for executives of his caliber in a resume database. For instance, the bulleted items include turnarounds, start-ups, budgeting, forecasting, mergers and due diligence.

The heading to the next section, "Career Highlights," indicates that Clifford has listed only his most prestigious accomplishments and experience. Each employer is described succinctly. Putting his titles in a different typeface helps them to pop.

For each job, Clifford describes why he was hired, what he did and whom he managed. In essence, he tells a story about each job. He follows this with his achievements, which are organized under the heading, "Key Accomplishments," for further emphasis.

Originally, Clifford was shy about citing additional accomplishments, but Ms. Friedler asked him to complete a worksheet asking what he did for each company. After that, "he easily flowed with his accomplishments," she says.

The new bulleted achievements are easier to understand than those on Clifford's original resume because the language used to explain them is plainer. On his new resume, for instance, the reason he joined XYZ Corp. is straightforward: "Brought aboard to turn around division and change the strategic direction." Many of the results of his work are quantified, showing the before-and-after improvements. Using specific numbers makes his achievements more concrete to  readers.

As on the original resume, only the title, dates of employment and company name are cited for his earliest positions. However, these facts are better organized by running the job title, company, location and date all on one line.

Clifford's new resume continues for three pages. Is this document too long? Not for a senior executive, says Ms. Friedler. The vast majority of resumes she prepares for senior managers and consultants are three or more pages long, she says. Usually their experience justifies the length. Moreover, when she's tried to condense senior executives' resumes to two pages, she says something important to hiring managers invariably is eliminated or the typeface gets so small that the resume becomes hard to read.

"When you pick and choose what to include, you always delete the wrong thing," she says.

When a resume exceeds two pages, Ms. Friedler says she normally uses the full three pages instead of making it two-and-a-half sheets. "That doesn't mean you should be too wordy. Basically, you want it to be easy to read, rather than having to squeeze your eyes to read 9.5-point type," she adds.

The result: Clifford reports that his new resume garnered favorable responses from employers. But in the eight months since his resume makeover, he decided to purchase a new company. His new resume was the marketing tool he used to assemble a team of investors and new management for the venture.