Women managers bring uniquely feminine styles, motivations and skills to professional life and have learned to use some of their strengths -- like empathy, adaptability and strong verbal skills -- to their advantage. Unfortunately, another typically feminine characteristic, self-doubt, often follows women into the workplace.

"I don't know whether we're wired this way or taught it, but women want to please and to fit in. We care what people think and don't want to rock the boat, so we wind up underselling ourselves," says Ann Hambly, president of Prudential Asset Resources, a unit of Prudential Financial, in Dallas. "I've seen other women do it, and I've seen myself do it."

Ms. Hambly is working to eliminate this tendency. Meanwhile, she compensates for it by talking in the facts-and-figures language she knows her largely male team prefers and by taking on challenging assignments that demonstrate she isn't timid or risk averse.

Still, self-doubt and unwillingness to be aggressive can result in lower earnings, diminished stature and missed opportunities, even for women who are qualified and enthusiastic managers. Here are four common mistakes women executives make and how some have overcome them.

"If a job requires five skills and we have four, we'll decide we aren't qualified and let it go. But a typical man who has two of the skills will take a chance and go for it," says Lee Ann Howard, co-founder of the recruiting firm Howard & O'Brien in Cleveland.

Carol Gallagher, founder of the Executive Women's Alliance and a career coach based in Oakland, Calif., recalls a female client -- a manager at a telecommunications company -- who sought an assignment that would "stretch" her skills and raise her profile. So her boss proposed that she combine the operations of the telecom company and a cable company it recently bought.

Ms. Gallagher's client immediately shrank from the proposal, noting she knew nothing about cable and wondering whether she was the right person for the job. But her boss pointed out she'd get a substantial raise, a better title and greater visibility, and her husband declared, "Who cares if you know nothing about cable? You know your company inside and out. You know where the bodies are buried. Of course you can do this job," Ms. Gallagher recalls.

If she hadn't been pushed, she wouldn't have taken the risk. "But this is why they're called promotions. If you weren't doing things you hadn't before, they would be lateral moves," Ms. Gallagher says.

Women concede they often give in too quickly when negotiating for themselves. But they should see negotiations as an opportunity to not only make financial gains but also to create an impression. "You don't want to look unprepared or like you're intimidated by stressful situations," says Maria Bailey, president of Blue Suit Mom, a media company for working mothers in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. "This is your opportunity to come armed with information and show you can negotiate, because that skill will help the company later on."

When Ms. Bailey went to work for a large company, she asked for "things that would help me serve the company" -- a laptop, cell phone expenses and home Internet access. But a man in a similar situation, she learned, was negotiating for a signing bonus, stock options, "an extra week of vacation, tuition for his wife and a country-club membership -- all things that would help the company improve his life."

So at her next negotiating opportunity, she parlayed the new job into a higher salary and a paid weeklong $5,000 management-training course.

Ms. Howard suggests asking for nonsalary items that will help with the job at hand and boost your career as well. "Think about things like club memberships or conferences you'd like to travel to -- things that don't hit the top line but that make you more visible to other people," she advises.

"Women are good at being friendly and extending themselves, but they don't take advantage of that skill" by making a point of getting to know people who can help them, says Victoria Tashjian, a career coach who splits her time between Southern California and Columbus, Ohio.

Ms. Tashjian suggests identifying "certain types of people you don't know at all" -- perhaps a finance pro who could answer questions about accounting procedures. Over the next six months, try to expand your network in that one way," she says. Identify someone in your company or industry you believe would be helpful to know and create opportunities to approach them. "Try saying, 'I have a question about how to do this financial thing. Could we sit down for 15 minutes sometime?' " she says.

Patricia Key, a vice president and tax counsel at The Chubb Corp. in Warren, N.J., has been working on improving her business-relationship skills. "I keep a list on my desk of people I want to be in touch with and people I need to stay connected with," she says. One way to connect is by asking people from other parts of the company to lunch. "I can hear about what they need and see what I can do for them," she says.

While Ms. Gallagher was researching her book, "Going to the Top: A Road Map for Success from America's Leading Women Executives" (Penguin, 2001), she asked a women who'd had a high-profile career in Washington, D.C., including a cabinet post, if she had any career regrets. "She told me she wished she'd gone to lunch more," Ms. Gallagher recalls.

"She thought she couldn't go to lunch because there was work to be done. So she was back with her head down at her desk," Ms. Gallagher explains. "But she eventually realized that the guys in the office were always going to lunch together and the relationships they formed helped them back at the office."

Coaches and executives say women focus too much on getting tasks done while overlooking those nice-but-not-necessary meetings, not taking time to strategize or simply not looking like leaders who manage and delegate instead of like workers who toil.

A recent study from Catalyst, an organization in New York City that researches issues related to women and careers, shows that 46% of women in middle management believe that having recognized expertise is a key to advancement, but only 17% of chief executive officers think so. Meanwhile 63% of CEOs want to see their up-and-comers successfully managing others, but less than half the women surveyed think that's important.

When Amy Corbett, a financial representative in San Francisco with Northwestern Mutual Financial Network, switched into mutual-fund and life-insurance sales, she routinely worked until 8 p.m. on everything from pursuing clients to filing paperwork. But she quickly burned out and turned to a career coach to find out "how to work longer and harder and smarter. She told me to work less."

What finally "liberated" her, she says, was scheduling a spa day in Napa Valley with her sister. "To my surprise, when I came back the next day, I still had a business." She shortened her workday to swim, get involved in her professional association, and rejuvenate her social life.

She also blocked out chunks of time "to think about what kinds of clients I enjoy working with -- other entrepreneurial people." Sales picked up enough that she was able to hire an assistant, which also improved her image and gave her credibility. "Prospective clients thought that if I have an assistant I must be doing OK."